Friday, October 14, 2011

You Know Your Life Is A Soap Opera When.....

I've been an avid soap watcher since I  was little. So, I thought I would do something lighthearted that you may enjoy whether you are a soap fan or not.

You know your life is a soap opera when:
  •  You're being held captive, but no one realizes you are gone because your evil twin has taken over your life.
  • That baby bump you are sporting is actually a pillow you are using to trap your best friends husband
  • Although you have been in a coma for weeks, the hospital staff makes sure your hair and makeup are as perfect as when you came in.
  • You never a shower, especially after sex.
  • You can have sex with your body wrapped in a satin sheet.
  • If you have a secret you can guarantee everyone else knows about and at least one of them is blackmailing you over it.
  • The new rebellious teenager that just came to town is more than likely a child that you never remember giving birth to,
  • You only hang out in hospitals, police stations, cemeteries and one restaurant. The restaurant is usually the nicest, fanciest establishment in town
  • When finishing a conversation, you blankly stare for several seconds with an amused look on your face.
  • No matter how secure your home is, gates, guards etc... people can always find a way to walk right into your home.
  • Your most hated enemy always seems to hear you talking to yourself about something you don't want get out.
  • Your first 3 weddings never happened and ended with a secret coming out, someone being arrested, or a disaster such as a tornado or a shooting.
  • Your lover dies and you have grief sex with his best friend or brother, you later find out your lover is alive, but oops, you're pregnant.
  • You've needed a DNA test for each of your children, all of the test were tampered with.
  • You've been shot, pushed from a high rise building, fell of a cliff, had numerous car accidents, found yourself in the middle of an explosion and lived to see another day.
  • The cops in your town never arrest the right person.
  • If someone is murdered, you and all of your friends are suspects and were seen arguing with the victim just hours before.
  • You never, ever wear the same outfit more than once.
  • No matter how bad the crime is, rest assured you won't do much time for it.
  • Your children are well behaved and remain in the kitchen with the maid eating the never ending freshly baked cookies.
  • You don't watch TV, but when you do its always a major breaking news story involving someone you know.
  • That medical degree only took you 6 months to get.
  • Once a family member leaves town, you never mention their name again; they don't call, visit, and  always have urgent matters that prevents them from attending a funeral.
Can you think of more, please post them in the comments......

1 comment:

  1. Cute! I really enjoyed this!

    ReplyDelete